Simon FitzKit...In The Field!

There’ll Be A Quiznos On This Later | April 28, 2008

While at Firehouse Subs the other day, my friend Sketch pointed out that the sandwich I was ordering had an odd description: it came “Fully Involved.” According to the menu (their online version pictured below), Fully Involved means that it comes with all the normal toppings (lettuce, mayo, etc).

Now, I don’t like toppings on my subs; I’m a meat-and-cheese-only type of guy. But it seems wrong to just ask for the sandwich “plain” when they went to the trouble of coming up with such an interesting phrase to describe a sub being ‘with everything on it.’

Therefore, I now present a short glossary of terms for how to order your sandwiches at Firehouse Subs from here on out.

A Sandwich Fully Involved = Loaded. Complete with Mayo, Mustard, Lettuce, Tomato, Onion and a Dill Spear.

A Sandwich With Commitment Issues = Sandwich With No Toppings.

A Sandwich In Trial Separation = Toppings On The Side.

A Sandwich Just Going Through The Paces = Limp Piece Of Lettuce, One Slice Of Tomato, and Just A Daub Of Condiments.

A Sandwich Having An Affair = Fully Involved Toppings Between Meat And Top Bun; With Horseradish, Cole Slaw and Pickle Slices Between Meat And Bottom Bun.

A Sandwich Whose Marriage Is On The Rocks = Hot Sub…On Ice.

A Sandwich With A Restraining Order = The Sandwich Is For Here, The Toppings Are To Go.

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