Simon FitzKit...In The Field!

Word up!

October 3, 2008
Leave a Comment

Wordle.net: The world’s foremost word-mapping program. So cool. I made the ones above, but this one’s currently my favorite:

Advertisements

Warren Ellis Bingo

July 24, 2008
1 Comment

I read Warren Ellis’ blog, and now, I’m on it:


Is Wayne Brucey Gonna Hafta Choke A Bitch?

July 16, 2008
1 Comment

From Sketch, the Batslap Meme.

Using this blank template, I have created the following:


You Have To Spurn The Trope

July 13, 2008
2 Comments

So as you may or may not have heard me cheering over the past week, I won a song-parody contest! First, play the game You Have To Burn The Rope (HERE). It will literally take you under a minute. The contest was to write a parody of the closing theme, and to make it about my favorite video game moment.

I wrote it about the game “Shadow of Colossus” and they previewed my entry during this podcast (skip to 1:12:45 ). (They say, “By Kit FitzSimons, which is an awesome name.” Whee!)

And then the guy who wrote the original song commented on my parody, and his favorite line was line 3 (heard here – skip to 0:56:08). (He says, “He’s got a nice flow with the rhymes.”)

Regardless of what you may think of the people who run the podcast, I now have a free DS Lite, courtesy of them!

Thanks to my friend Sketch who suggested the reverb and who found a way to make the claps work so well…and, you know, for running Garage Band and mixing my vocals.


Sing A Song of Sevenpence

June 2, 2008
Leave a Comment

I was not tagged in the meme-stream, that I know of, but I feel like con-tributary-ing, so…

The Seven Songs Meme:
(found via warrenellis.com, but quoted from Kid Shirt)

“List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they’re not any good, but they must be songs you’re really enjoying now, shaping your spring. Post these instructions in your blog along with your 7 songs. Then tag 7 other people to see what they’re listening to.”

(I’ve included Youtube links)

1. Muse “Supermassive Black Hole”
I don’t understand it; why would Muse not record more songs that sound like this? I like other stuff they’ve done, but I wouldn’t put anything else from their discography on repeat for hours at a time. It’s upbeat, it’s fun to play on Guitar Hero 3 (I first heard the song when it became downloadable content), and I don’t really have to explain who the group is when telling my friends that I like this song.

Also, if somebody would get me a red jacket like the one Matthew Bellamy’s wearing in that video, I’d be forever grateful.

2. Nappy Roots “Good Day”
Yes, in fact, it does have half a verse in which he raps the contents of a church barbecue’s picnic table. But this song is like ‘Hard Knock Life’ ramped up and made twice as happy. It’s one of those rare rap songs about how people might be better off not living a Grand Theft Auto lifestyle 24/7. I heard it on the radio and immediately went home and downloaded it.

3. Valeriya “The Party’s Over”
She’s what happens when a Russian singer wants to do what Shakira did, only in the style of 2000’s-Madonna. Found via Jeff, this video is ridiculous. Keep an eye out for her token male-backup dancer, who apparently was very proud of the fact that his choreographer had finally taught him the “Number One Dance Move In The West” — aka taking off your hat and putting it back on. Also, Valeriya looks like Emily Procter from CSI: Miami (image here).

4. The Hoosiers “Goodbye Mr A”
Upbeat again. I think a pattern is beginning to emerge here. The song’s supposedly about the singer’s elementary school math teacher, and that actually makes a lot of the lines make more contextual/wordplay sense. The Hoosiers are actually one of my more-recently-found favorite bands. I don’t usually have favorite bands because my tastes are so eclectic that I often will only like one song that a group has done and feel indifferent about the rest of their work. Exceptions of the past have included Smash Mouth, Sugar Ray, and Josie & the Pussycats (from the movie). As you can tell, I like music that makes me bounce along to it.

5. The Hives “Die All Right
Another rare favorite band of mine, The Hives have crept into my consciousness from all directions; radio, music videos, Guitar Hero 3, Rock Band, Weird Al Yankovic, the fact that their songwriter is a possibly fictional person whose last name is pronounced the same way mine is…it all seemed a conspiracy to get me to listen to them. Well, I have fallen; it’s music like this that makes me want to have long hair to properly headbang with.

6. Presidents of the United States of America “Mixed Up SOB”
PUSA are goofy weirdos, kind of like The Hives, actually. Weird Al Yankovic directed this music video, something that should not surprise you once you’ve seen 30 seconds of it. I love the line “She’s stuck in gear. It’s just too bad it’s Reverse.” That’s wit, people. That’s what’s missing from T-Pain’s music that keeps me from getting down to apple-bottom jeans. Speaking of T-Pain though…

7. T-Pain “Church”
The only track I can stand off the soundtrack for Step Up 2: The Streets, and it’s just amazing. I want to record a music video of my own for it; that’s how fun it is to dance to.

And the tags:
1. Ted H
2. Jeff S
3. Joe S
4. Corey B
5. Jeremy G
6. Remi T
7. Katie S


Sing A Song of Sevenpence

June 2, 2008
Leave a Comment

I was not tagged in the meme-stream, that I know of, but I feel like con-tributary-ing, so…

The Seven Songs Meme:
(found via warrenellis.com, but quoted from Kid Shirt)

“List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they’re not any good, but they must be songs you’re really enjoying now, shaping your spring. Post these instructions in your blog along with your 7 songs. Then tag 7 other people to see what they’re listening to.”

(I’ve included Youtube links)

1. Muse “Supermassive Black Hole”
I don’t understand it; why would Muse not record more songs that sound like this? I like other stuff they’ve done, but I wouldn’t put anything else from their discography on repeat for hours at a time. It’s upbeat, it’s fun to play on Guitar Hero 3 (I first heard the song when it became downloadable content), and I don’t really have to explain who the group is when telling my friends that I like this song.

Also, if somebody would get me a red jacket like the one Matthew Bellamy’s wearing in that video, I’d be forever grateful.

2. Nappy Roots “Good Day”
Yes, in fact, it does have half a verse in which he raps the contents of a church barbecue’s picnic table. But this song is like ‘Hard Knock Life’ ramped up and made twice as happy. It’s one of those rare rap songs about how people might be better off not living a Grand Theft Auto lifestyle 24/7. I heard it on the radio and immediately went home and downloaded it.

3. Valeriya “The Party’s Over”
She’s what happens when a Russian singer wants to do what Shakira did, only in the style of 2000’s-Madonna. Found via Jeff, this video is ridiculous. Keep an eye out for her token male-backup dancer, who apparently was very proud of the fact that his choreographer had finally taught him the “Number One Dance Move In The West” — aka taking off your hat and putting it back on. Also, Valeriya looks like Emily Procter from CSI: Miami (image here).

4. The Hoosiers “Goodbye Mr A”
Upbeat again. I think a pattern is beginning to emerge here. The song’s supposedly about the singer’s elementary school math teacher, and that actually makes a lot of the lines make more contextual/wordplay sense. The Hoosiers are actually one of my more-recently-found favorite bands. I don’t usually have favorite bands because my tastes are so eclectic that I often will only like one song that a group has done and feel indifferent about the rest of their work. Exceptions of the past have included Smash Mouth, Sugar Ray, and Josie & the Pussycats (from the movie). As you can tell, I like music that makes me bounce along to it.

5. The Hives “Die All Right
Another rare favorite band of mine, The Hives have crept into my consciousness from all directions; radio, music videos, Guitar Hero 3, Rock Band, Weird Al Yankovic, the fact that their songwriter is a possibly fictional person whose last name is pronounced the same way mine is…it all seemed a conspiracy to get me to listen to them. Well, I have fallen; it’s music like this that makes me want to have long hair to properly headbang with.

6. Presidents of the United States of America “Mixed Up SOB”
PUSA are goofy weirdos, kind of like The Hives, actually. Weird Al Yankovic directed this music video, something that should not surprise you once you’ve seen 30 seconds of it. I love the line “She’s stuck in gear. It’s just too bad it’s Reverse.” That’s wit, people. That’s what’s missing from T-Pain’s music that keeps me from getting down to apple-bottom jeans. Speaking of T-Pain though…

7. T-Pain “Church”
The only track I can stand off the soundtrack for Step Up 2: The Streets, and it’s just amazing. I want to record a music video of my own for it; that’s how fun it is to dance to.

And the tags:
1. Ted H
2. Jeff S
3. Joe S
4. Corey B
5. Jeremy G
6. Remi T
7. Katie S


Larry Curly and Mo-Cap

April 8, 2008
Leave a Comment

Another Epic Games update:

More motion capture work means more excitement! We got on the evening news, we’re going to get to go to a motion-capture-team party at the sprawling estate house of one of our contacts at the company, and best of all, I have more NDA-sanitized pictures!

There I am in my mo-cap suit, ready to act like a tough guy wearing about twice my personal body-weight in armor.

Here’s a mysterious squiggle of masking tape on the ground of the mo-cap studio. What could it be? An alien chalk outline? The boundaries of an energy conduit we’re about to be sucked into? A Georgia O’Keeffe print?

And this is from down the hall in Epic Games’ in-house mini-gym (it’s how all those game developers stay so buff). You can set the Stair Machine to simulate the steps of famous landmarks. Not just the number, but also the angle of inclination. It’s a little crazy, but not as crazy as the options I’d have programmed in:


We’re Happy You Made It…

April 7, 2008
1 Comment

The best video game ever…

You Have To Burn The Rope

Words cannot describe how satisfying it is to complete a game in less than 20 hours.


Random Song Select

March 15, 2008
1 Comment

I have been challenged!

My friend Ted posted this in his blog (and then emailed me a personal link to it as a pointed challenge).

A friend of his found a Photoshop game to keep graphically-inclined people occupied for hours. The game is to create an album cover using random elements.
Find a random phrase (using the Wikipedia Random Article function); that’ll be the band name.
Find a random quote (using a random quote generator); the last four words of the last quote on the page will be the album title.
Find a random picture (using Flickr’s Interesting Photos); the third photo will be the background image for the album.

Now build the album cover from those three pieces, making use of all your Photoshop skills.

I’ve been making them all night while I wait for other people or whenever I get a second. Here’s what I came up with:

Timeline of Afghanistan is heavily influenced by Evanescence, Linkin Park and the entire Dollar Bin at your local Indie CD store. They feel that they’ve got a lot to be sorry about, sorry for, and sorry in so far as. Their new CD is a concept album based on what the drummer’s troubled youth would have been like if he had tried just one more time to run away from home. Rider Specifications: four (4) bottles of L’Oreal Pox Black nail polish in each band member’s dressing room, one (1) bowl of flowers and one (1) hairdryer plugged in next to said bowl.

The Lee County, Florida Sheriff’s Office has been talking about putting out an album since 1983, when they first realized 3/4 of their officers had, at one time or another, learned how to play an instrument. It all came together when they needed to raise money to get to a crime-stoppers convention in Illinois and needed to make some money to afford plane tickets. Their first effort (and they had so much fun, they swear it won’t be their last) includes their hit single, “Off The Cuffs,” a tribute to Jimmy Buffet’s music and Lee County’s most notorious baddies. Rider Specifications: For the show to go on, there must be at least 30 kids under the age of 12 and/or 40 senior citizens over 60 in the audience.

Fur Seal plays Death Metal with no concern for the fact that a good 95% of the Adult Swim show Metalocalypse has been directly lifted from footage from their episode of Behind The Music. Their lead singer’s name is Körgin Billy. That’s not a typo or a pseudonym; his parents gave him that name at birth…along with his abdominal scars. Rider Specifications: Someone for the entire band to simultaneously hate, otherwise, they’ll turn on each other pre-concert like a pack of rabid opossums.

Anneli Jäätteenmäki’s Cabinet is a Swedish supergroup, made up of former members of Ace of Base, Abba, The Cardigans, The Hives and The Hellacopters, from before any of the groups became famous. The lead singer has a crush on Ian Anderson, and she hides his name in every one of the band’s songs: anagrams, acrostics, or just using the string of letters ‘-ian’ at the ends of words like ‘Canadian’ and ‘Edwardian.’ In fact, she’s hidden his name twice on the cover of this newest release; Christ, she’s like a demented Highlights editor. Rider Specifications: An open cash bar. Yes, it actually uses that phrase. Most venues assume it means they want to mix their own drinks and leave the money on the counter. No one’s complained yet.

Command History likes to think of themselves as Weezer-meets-Barenaked-Ladies, but really they’re just a cheap Smash Mouth knockoff. You know, like Sugar Ray. Rider Specifications: Glasses tape. They only wear their glasses on stage; they’ve all had Lasik. Really, guys? Really?

Varandinha is former Bollywood actress Varandinha Rajadhyaksha branching out to achieve mainstream international diva status. The only way to describe her music is kitschily catchy. Imagine if Shakira had been an Indian princess, and you’re almost there. Rider Specifications: Two (2) bottles of suntan lotion, One (1) copy of the latest Danielle Steel paperback, four (4) steak kabobs… she should probably just kiss Richard Gere and get it over with.

Château LaFleur is an all-bisexual 7-member French punk band that prides itself on the sheer number of permutations for in-band relationships it has to offer the media. They also are steadfastly anti-SETI, a sentiment echoed on their new CD. They believe that if/when humans and extraterrestrials talk/meet, we should let it be on their terms and stop wasting all this money on clogging up intergalactic communication frequencies. Also, they hated Jody Foster in Contact. Rider Specifications: Wall-to-wall pillow mats, Jacques Brel over the intercom, and 2 hours of uninterrupted sex time before and after each performance.

Wow. My bands spread out quite a bit, didn’t they? That’s show biz for you.


A Little Less Conversation

March 4, 2008
2 Comments

While talking with my friend David the other day, we got to discussing our favorite movies, as friends are wont to do periodically. As always, I brought up the fact that sets my opinion apart from that of the rest of the civilized world: I really love the movie Van Helsing.

I like the movie-monster pastiche it presents, enjoy both the male and female leads (Hugh Jackman & Kate Beckinsale), applaud the true-to-Shelley handling of Frankenstein’s Monster, get into the action hardcore, and feel on the whole that it does a good job of transporting a James Bond flick to the 1800s.

I do understand that the movie has several glaring flaws (e.g. Dracula’s overacting, the insanity of the subplots, and Kate Beckinsale being an 1800s female who dresses like Madonna and acts like Victoria Beckham), but I forgave the movie all those faults because it looked so goddamn awesome.

I mock movies like it’s my job, but this is one of those ones I give a free pass because it gives me all the elements of the most kickass movie ever, and it doesn’t give me time during the movie to realize that half of the reasons I like it are my own extrapolations from actual scenes.

That’s right: I like Van Helsing partially because I have added to it in my head, making it a better movie by creating new dialog, plot points and action sequences. And I love the movie more every time I watch it…because each viewing means I get to make up more.

Now that I’ve defended my position pretty soundly, I’ll return to the topic at hand: talking about Van Helsing with David. David said that the primary reason he could not even make himself watch the movie is that, when he thinks of Van Helsing, he thinks of the old man who stoically defeated Dracula. In other words, Peter Cushing:

He therefore finds it distasteful and/or untenable that Van Helsing would be a thirty-something action hero. In other words: Hugh Jackman:

To which I replied (in all seriousness), “I can see that. It’d be like if someone’s putting out a Sherlock Holmes movie, and you find out it’s starring Jason Statham.”

Jason Statham, star of the Transporter films, Crank, and (shudder) the DungeonSiege movie — the man I would consider this generation’s Bruce Willis– playing Sherlock Holmes (also played at one point by Peter Cushing, incidentally), the legendary proponent of Mind Over Matter, Brain Over Brawn, who usually had Watson along simply so somebody else could get powder burns on their hands. Ridiculous and analogous, right?

We agreed on that point, and a few moments went by… at which point I realized that I really, really wanted to see that movie. Not Van Helsing, but:

What a kickass Sherlock Holmes movie that would be. Logical, yes. Willing to bash a few Moriarty-goon skulls to get enough breathing room to use his own, Hells yeah. Able to identify mud by color, chemical content and region of origin, true. Able to pleasure femme-fatale Irene Adler (maybe sexed up in this version to Irina Adlokov) and good girl Mary Russell alike,

Watson could be Mos Def or Paul Rudd or someone similar, and the Baker Street Irregulars would be a teenage street gang led by Shia Labeouf. Moriarty…okay, I’ll keep Dennis Hopper as a fallback option, but top choice: Stephen Dorff.

Because even though he’s not really that big a name around Hollywood, he may have been the one decent thing about the movie Blade (oh, all right, Jeff, the wall of fetuses was also pretty cool).

Now that I’ve cemented plans for that movie, obviously, we need others to be similarly directed and cast.

Let’s see:
Van Helsing –> Hugh Jackman (today’s Kurt Russell)
Sherlock Holmes –> Jason Statham (today’s Bruce Willis)

Hmm…how about something for Clive Owen (today’s Mel Gibson…in…in a good way though)…

They’re making a Hobbit movie, right? Let him be Gandalf. Let’s see those Middle Earth baddies try to pick on the short guys when they’ve got One-step-better-than-Viggo-Mortensen at their backs.

And for Vin Diesel (today’s Sylvester Stallone)…

Obviously, we need an Albert Einstein flick. Just before the climax, he realizes he’ll never escape from Germany if he’s got wild, poofy Doc Brown hair, so he shaves it all off and kicks some Nazi ass in:

And something for Daniel Craig (today’s Michael Biehn)…

Let’s see…some classic role usually played by an older man that stereotypically calls for urbanity and stiff sensibility, but that Daniel Craig can endow with action and bring back to the forefront of an awesome-factor-starved viewing public’s consciousness… Oh! I know!


Next Page »