Simon FitzKit...In The Field!

Kit Needs To Move His Blog?

February 20, 2009
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My friend Sketch did this, and I remember doing it waaaay back in the day (of LiveJournal), so here’s What I Need:

Type in your name and “needs” into Google and then write down the first 10 coherent things that come up.

  1. Your Stress Relief Kit Needs Gratitude and Humility – I’m not sure what kind of hippy-dippy stress-relief kit this is, but I’d much prefer Krunch bars and video games, since it’s easier to tell when you’ve run out
  2. Rabbit Kit needs to eat?!?!!? – Probably.  And probably more than once a day. Maybe.
  3. BLACK PEARL KIT NEEDS TO GO ASAP!!!!!!!!!!! – “Arr, years ago, I betrayed Captain Barbosa, but that’ll never come back ta haunt me, righhhhhOHSHIT!”
  4. GE TRIM KIT NEEDS INSTRUCTION – I’ve never made General Electric cutbacks before.
  5. Purchase of doll house kit needs consideration of some facts – Like the fact that it’s not handicap-accessible
  6. EMERGENCY KIT NEEDS Home Page – Know any good web designers?
  7. Outstanding piece of Kit, needs more pockets – obviously, I’m not lugging around enough detritus on my person as is
  8. kit needs to be replaced – Don’t worry, it’s like that story of the Philosopher’s Axe; I’ll still be more than the sum of my parts (or rather, my Outstanding pieces)
  9. metal kit needs new springs? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FSqimIoSnbc
  10. Above all, alpine kit needs to do the job
...if, that is, the job involves moguls.

...if, that is, the job involves moguls.


Instant Photographification

September 19, 2008
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From Sketch Hobgood

The Rules of the Meme:
Take a picture of yourself right now.
Don’t change your clothes, don’t fix your hair…just take a picture.
Post that picture with NO editing.
Post these instructions with your picture.


Posted in me on display

Warren Ellis Bingo

July 24, 2008
1 Comment

I read Warren Ellis’ blog, and now, I’m on it:


You Have To Spurn The Trope

July 13, 2008
2 Comments

So as you may or may not have heard me cheering over the past week, I won a song-parody contest! First, play the game You Have To Burn The Rope (HERE). It will literally take you under a minute. The contest was to write a parody of the closing theme, and to make it about my favorite video game moment.

I wrote it about the game “Shadow of Colossus” and they previewed my entry during this podcast (skip to 1:12:45 ). (They say, “By Kit FitzSimons, which is an awesome name.” Whee!)

And then the guy who wrote the original song commented on my parody, and his favorite line was line 3 (heard here – skip to 0:56:08). (He says, “He’s got a nice flow with the rhymes.”)

Regardless of what you may think of the people who run the podcast, I now have a free DS Lite, courtesy of them!

Thanks to my friend Sketch who suggested the reverb and who found a way to make the claps work so well…and, you know, for running Garage Band and mixing my vocals.


Makes mouths happy. MAKES MOUTHS HAPPY!!!

July 10, 2008
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I’ve been laid low by Jumanji Twizzlers.

It waits for some unsuspecting person to find it, play it, and release the evil jungle magic within.

But I’m not prone to opening mysterious board games that wash up on the beach. No, this time the evil jungle magic had to bend itself to my weak spot:

I couldn’t help it. It just popped in there.

Twizzlers. One of the new resealable two-pound pouches that locks freshness in. Like we used to eat at Camp Waconda.

Only this bag didn’t just lock in freshness. Oh no. Let’s turn back the clock to last fall when I came down with an annoyingly persistent flu-like virus that completely floored me. My sister bought me a bag of resealable Twizzlers to cheer me up. No, not healthy for me, but hey, I was sick, and I wanted to feel better in some quantifiable way.

So I had some, sealed the bag, went back to cowering under the covers and got better.

February came around, and, as I was straightening my landfill of a room, I found, buried under clothes, DVDs, PSP games and comic books…

The Jumanji Twizzlers.

Oh, at the time, I didn’t know it was they, but the effect was immediate: I ate a few, and a couple days later, I was going through boxes of tissue like… well, like Kleenex. And I was not in the mood for Twizzlers any more, so they got kneaded back into the bottom of the counter bread machine that is my room.

And then I was sifting through piles of stuff I had recently tossed around (to be able to sleep on my bed again), and there, innocent and sweet, sat…

THE JUMANJI TWIZZLERS.

I carried them downstairs, having only an hour before discovered I had nothing but frozen meals and Pop-Tarts as immediate dining options. I sat down in front of CSI: Miami Season 1, and I had several strawberry-flavored twists.

Now everything above my philtrum is pounding, my nose is gushing, and my throat constantly feels like I’ve gargled with salt. Not salt water; salt.

So, of course, I threw the bag away as soon as I realized where the evil jungle magic had come from.

But now I realize: I didn’t burn it. It’s sitting in a trash bag somewhere, on its way to a dump, in some homeless child’s hands… and the Freshness seal is intact. The Jumanji Twizzlers are pristine inside. And someone will find them… and eat them… and the horror will live again.

Oh, God, I can still hear the drums! The hideous beating of those unearthly bongos, their sheer intensity threatening to drag me into my own personal heart of darkness!…

…Oh, wait. Sorry. I was just playing Rock Band on Nyquil.

Never mind.

Thank you, Seattle. Are you ready to r–BEWARE THE JUMANJI TWIZZLERS!


Sing A Song of Sevenpence

June 2, 2008
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I was not tagged in the meme-stream, that I know of, but I feel like con-tributary-ing, so…

The Seven Songs Meme:
(found via warrenellis.com, but quoted from Kid Shirt)

“List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they’re not any good, but they must be songs you’re really enjoying now, shaping your spring. Post these instructions in your blog along with your 7 songs. Then tag 7 other people to see what they’re listening to.”

(I’ve included Youtube links)

1. Muse “Supermassive Black Hole”
I don’t understand it; why would Muse not record more songs that sound like this? I like other stuff they’ve done, but I wouldn’t put anything else from their discography on repeat for hours at a time. It’s upbeat, it’s fun to play on Guitar Hero 3 (I first heard the song when it became downloadable content), and I don’t really have to explain who the group is when telling my friends that I like this song.

Also, if somebody would get me a red jacket like the one Matthew Bellamy’s wearing in that video, I’d be forever grateful.

2. Nappy Roots “Good Day”
Yes, in fact, it does have half a verse in which he raps the contents of a church barbecue’s picnic table. But this song is like ‘Hard Knock Life’ ramped up and made twice as happy. It’s one of those rare rap songs about how people might be better off not living a Grand Theft Auto lifestyle 24/7. I heard it on the radio and immediately went home and downloaded it.

3. Valeriya “The Party’s Over”
She’s what happens when a Russian singer wants to do what Shakira did, only in the style of 2000’s-Madonna. Found via Jeff, this video is ridiculous. Keep an eye out for her token male-backup dancer, who apparently was very proud of the fact that his choreographer had finally taught him the “Number One Dance Move In The West” — aka taking off your hat and putting it back on. Also, Valeriya looks like Emily Procter from CSI: Miami (image here).

4. The Hoosiers “Goodbye Mr A”
Upbeat again. I think a pattern is beginning to emerge here. The song’s supposedly about the singer’s elementary school math teacher, and that actually makes a lot of the lines make more contextual/wordplay sense. The Hoosiers are actually one of my more-recently-found favorite bands. I don’t usually have favorite bands because my tastes are so eclectic that I often will only like one song that a group has done and feel indifferent about the rest of their work. Exceptions of the past have included Smash Mouth, Sugar Ray, and Josie & the Pussycats (from the movie). As you can tell, I like music that makes me bounce along to it.

5. The Hives “Die All Right
Another rare favorite band of mine, The Hives have crept into my consciousness from all directions; radio, music videos, Guitar Hero 3, Rock Band, Weird Al Yankovic, the fact that their songwriter is a possibly fictional person whose last name is pronounced the same way mine is…it all seemed a conspiracy to get me to listen to them. Well, I have fallen; it’s music like this that makes me want to have long hair to properly headbang with.

6. Presidents of the United States of America “Mixed Up SOB”
PUSA are goofy weirdos, kind of like The Hives, actually. Weird Al Yankovic directed this music video, something that should not surprise you once you’ve seen 30 seconds of it. I love the line “She’s stuck in gear. It’s just too bad it’s Reverse.” That’s wit, people. That’s what’s missing from T-Pain’s music that keeps me from getting down to apple-bottom jeans. Speaking of T-Pain though…

7. T-Pain “Church”
The only track I can stand off the soundtrack for Step Up 2: The Streets, and it’s just amazing. I want to record a music video of my own for it; that’s how fun it is to dance to.

And the tags:
1. Ted H
2. Jeff S
3. Joe S
4. Corey B
5. Jeremy G
6. Remi T
7. Katie S


Sing A Song of Sevenpence

June 2, 2008
Leave a Comment

I was not tagged in the meme-stream, that I know of, but I feel like con-tributary-ing, so…

The Seven Songs Meme:
(found via warrenellis.com, but quoted from Kid Shirt)

“List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they’re not any good, but they must be songs you’re really enjoying now, shaping your spring. Post these instructions in your blog along with your 7 songs. Then tag 7 other people to see what they’re listening to.”

(I’ve included Youtube links)

1. Muse “Supermassive Black Hole”
I don’t understand it; why would Muse not record more songs that sound like this? I like other stuff they’ve done, but I wouldn’t put anything else from their discography on repeat for hours at a time. It’s upbeat, it’s fun to play on Guitar Hero 3 (I first heard the song when it became downloadable content), and I don’t really have to explain who the group is when telling my friends that I like this song.

Also, if somebody would get me a red jacket like the one Matthew Bellamy’s wearing in that video, I’d be forever grateful.

2. Nappy Roots “Good Day”
Yes, in fact, it does have half a verse in which he raps the contents of a church barbecue’s picnic table. But this song is like ‘Hard Knock Life’ ramped up and made twice as happy. It’s one of those rare rap songs about how people might be better off not living a Grand Theft Auto lifestyle 24/7. I heard it on the radio and immediately went home and downloaded it.

3. Valeriya “The Party’s Over”
She’s what happens when a Russian singer wants to do what Shakira did, only in the style of 2000’s-Madonna. Found via Jeff, this video is ridiculous. Keep an eye out for her token male-backup dancer, who apparently was very proud of the fact that his choreographer had finally taught him the “Number One Dance Move In The West” — aka taking off your hat and putting it back on. Also, Valeriya looks like Emily Procter from CSI: Miami (image here).

4. The Hoosiers “Goodbye Mr A”
Upbeat again. I think a pattern is beginning to emerge here. The song’s supposedly about the singer’s elementary school math teacher, and that actually makes a lot of the lines make more contextual/wordplay sense. The Hoosiers are actually one of my more-recently-found favorite bands. I don’t usually have favorite bands because my tastes are so eclectic that I often will only like one song that a group has done and feel indifferent about the rest of their work. Exceptions of the past have included Smash Mouth, Sugar Ray, and Josie & the Pussycats (from the movie). As you can tell, I like music that makes me bounce along to it.

5. The Hives “Die All Right
Another rare favorite band of mine, The Hives have crept into my consciousness from all directions; radio, music videos, Guitar Hero 3, Rock Band, Weird Al Yankovic, the fact that their songwriter is a possibly fictional person whose last name is pronounced the same way mine is…it all seemed a conspiracy to get me to listen to them. Well, I have fallen; it’s music like this that makes me want to have long hair to properly headbang with.

6. Presidents of the United States of America “Mixed Up SOB”
PUSA are goofy weirdos, kind of like The Hives, actually. Weird Al Yankovic directed this music video, something that should not surprise you once you’ve seen 30 seconds of it. I love the line “She’s stuck in gear. It’s just too bad it’s Reverse.” That’s wit, people. That’s what’s missing from T-Pain’s music that keeps me from getting down to apple-bottom jeans. Speaking of T-Pain though…

7. T-Pain “Church”
The only track I can stand off the soundtrack for Step Up 2: The Streets, and it’s just amazing. I want to record a music video of my own for it; that’s how fun it is to dance to.

And the tags:
1. Ted H
2. Jeff S
3. Joe S
4. Corey B
5. Jeremy G
6. Remi T
7. Katie S


Eat This!

May 2, 2008
1 Comment

Click to make it larger.


But what about 5-year-old zombies?

March 28, 2008
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I went down to Atlanta to visit friends and see Paul&Storm and Jonathan Coulton in concert. I hope to get around to writing about that, but first, a couple facts:

27

57%


27

February 8, 2008
4 Comments

27th post in this new journal, on 2/7, my birthday.

Way to not even plan that, Simon.

Weird how my sidebar says this is post 25, but my dashboard says it’s 27. (shrug)

I’ve been sick for the past 3 days, with a fever of –at times– 104, and more congestion in my throat than on 1-85 every time I drive to Atlanta.

So it was not the 26th B-Day extravaganza I’d envisioned. In fact, at one point our neighborhood’s owner came to the door and suggested I move my car just in case the water main “exploded on it.” That’s not my idea of a party. Although, I suppose it would technically qualify as a surprise shower.

I’ve been dreaming about 2 things:
1) Alias. I’m halfway through the 3rd season, and it’s so addictive that if I stop in the middle of an episode to nap, my mind tries to create new plot lines to tie up all the loose ends.
2) Some kind of process that reduces things/people/experiences to cigarette-length Dr-Mario-style pills. And this is the disturbing one because it confuses me so profoundly –both in and out of dream state– that I still don’t understand the who or what or why of it all. All I know is that at one point, the only way I could solve the current problem was by letting my fingers act as a tiny person and climb a ladder built out of these condensed essence pills. I…just don’t know.

In any case, this past year has been really great. I’m doing what I love to do, I’m getting paid to do it, and people like me again. It’s nice having a lot of friends. I believe in psychological circles, this is known as the Norm Complex: the driving desire for people to call out your name in unison as you walk into the room. I’m on good terms with my sister, my parents are calming down quite a bit, the two-man improv group I’m half of got into DSIF, I’ve visited Atlanta several times and felt the love, comic books are pretty cool, and I own Rock Band, which makes me the most popular kid at all the parties.

…Here’s hoping I don’t die in my sleep tonight or something similarly O-Henry-ishly stupid.

Also, new entry up at Trouble in Parodies:
“The Fandom Menace”


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