Simon FitzKit...In The Field!

Word up!

October 3, 2008
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Wordle.net: The world’s foremost word-mapping program. So cool. I made the ones above, but this one’s currently my favorite:

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You Have To Spurn The Trope

July 13, 2008
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So as you may or may not have heard me cheering over the past week, I won a song-parody contest! First, play the game You Have To Burn The Rope (HERE). It will literally take you under a minute. The contest was to write a parody of the closing theme, and to make it about my favorite video game moment.

I wrote it about the game “Shadow of Colossus” and they previewed my entry during this podcast (skip to 1:12:45 ). (They say, “By Kit FitzSimons, which is an awesome name.” Whee!)

And then the guy who wrote the original song commented on my parody, and his favorite line was line 3 (heard here – skip to 0:56:08). (He says, “He’s got a nice flow with the rhymes.”)

Regardless of what you may think of the people who run the podcast, I now have a free DS Lite, courtesy of them!

Thanks to my friend Sketch who suggested the reverb and who found a way to make the claps work so well…and, you know, for running Garage Band and mixing my vocals.


Sing A Song of Sevenpence

June 2, 2008
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I was not tagged in the meme-stream, that I know of, but I feel like con-tributary-ing, so…

The Seven Songs Meme:
(found via warrenellis.com, but quoted from Kid Shirt)

“List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they’re not any good, but they must be songs you’re really enjoying now, shaping your spring. Post these instructions in your blog along with your 7 songs. Then tag 7 other people to see what they’re listening to.”

(I’ve included Youtube links)

1. Muse “Supermassive Black Hole”
I don’t understand it; why would Muse not record more songs that sound like this? I like other stuff they’ve done, but I wouldn’t put anything else from their discography on repeat for hours at a time. It’s upbeat, it’s fun to play on Guitar Hero 3 (I first heard the song when it became downloadable content), and I don’t really have to explain who the group is when telling my friends that I like this song.

Also, if somebody would get me a red jacket like the one Matthew Bellamy’s wearing in that video, I’d be forever grateful.

2. Nappy Roots “Good Day”
Yes, in fact, it does have half a verse in which he raps the contents of a church barbecue’s picnic table. But this song is like ‘Hard Knock Life’ ramped up and made twice as happy. It’s one of those rare rap songs about how people might be better off not living a Grand Theft Auto lifestyle 24/7. I heard it on the radio and immediately went home and downloaded it.

3. Valeriya “The Party’s Over”
She’s what happens when a Russian singer wants to do what Shakira did, only in the style of 2000’s-Madonna. Found via Jeff, this video is ridiculous. Keep an eye out for her token male-backup dancer, who apparently was very proud of the fact that his choreographer had finally taught him the “Number One Dance Move In The West” — aka taking off your hat and putting it back on. Also, Valeriya looks like Emily Procter from CSI: Miami (image here).

4. The Hoosiers “Goodbye Mr A”
Upbeat again. I think a pattern is beginning to emerge here. The song’s supposedly about the singer’s elementary school math teacher, and that actually makes a lot of the lines make more contextual/wordplay sense. The Hoosiers are actually one of my more-recently-found favorite bands. I don’t usually have favorite bands because my tastes are so eclectic that I often will only like one song that a group has done and feel indifferent about the rest of their work. Exceptions of the past have included Smash Mouth, Sugar Ray, and Josie & the Pussycats (from the movie). As you can tell, I like music that makes me bounce along to it.

5. The Hives “Die All Right
Another rare favorite band of mine, The Hives have crept into my consciousness from all directions; radio, music videos, Guitar Hero 3, Rock Band, Weird Al Yankovic, the fact that their songwriter is a possibly fictional person whose last name is pronounced the same way mine is…it all seemed a conspiracy to get me to listen to them. Well, I have fallen; it’s music like this that makes me want to have long hair to properly headbang with.

6. Presidents of the United States of America “Mixed Up SOB”
PUSA are goofy weirdos, kind of like The Hives, actually. Weird Al Yankovic directed this music video, something that should not surprise you once you’ve seen 30 seconds of it. I love the line “She’s stuck in gear. It’s just too bad it’s Reverse.” That’s wit, people. That’s what’s missing from T-Pain’s music that keeps me from getting down to apple-bottom jeans. Speaking of T-Pain though…

7. T-Pain “Church”
The only track I can stand off the soundtrack for Step Up 2: The Streets, and it’s just amazing. I want to record a music video of my own for it; that’s how fun it is to dance to.

And the tags:
1. Ted H
2. Jeff S
3. Joe S
4. Corey B
5. Jeremy G
6. Remi T
7. Katie S


Sing A Song of Sevenpence

June 2, 2008
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I was not tagged in the meme-stream, that I know of, but I feel like con-tributary-ing, so…

The Seven Songs Meme:
(found via warrenellis.com, but quoted from Kid Shirt)

“List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they’re not any good, but they must be songs you’re really enjoying now, shaping your spring. Post these instructions in your blog along with your 7 songs. Then tag 7 other people to see what they’re listening to.”

(I’ve included Youtube links)

1. Muse “Supermassive Black Hole”
I don’t understand it; why would Muse not record more songs that sound like this? I like other stuff they’ve done, but I wouldn’t put anything else from their discography on repeat for hours at a time. It’s upbeat, it’s fun to play on Guitar Hero 3 (I first heard the song when it became downloadable content), and I don’t really have to explain who the group is when telling my friends that I like this song.

Also, if somebody would get me a red jacket like the one Matthew Bellamy’s wearing in that video, I’d be forever grateful.

2. Nappy Roots “Good Day”
Yes, in fact, it does have half a verse in which he raps the contents of a church barbecue’s picnic table. But this song is like ‘Hard Knock Life’ ramped up and made twice as happy. It’s one of those rare rap songs about how people might be better off not living a Grand Theft Auto lifestyle 24/7. I heard it on the radio and immediately went home and downloaded it.

3. Valeriya “The Party’s Over”
She’s what happens when a Russian singer wants to do what Shakira did, only in the style of 2000’s-Madonna. Found via Jeff, this video is ridiculous. Keep an eye out for her token male-backup dancer, who apparently was very proud of the fact that his choreographer had finally taught him the “Number One Dance Move In The West” — aka taking off your hat and putting it back on. Also, Valeriya looks like Emily Procter from CSI: Miami (image here).

4. The Hoosiers “Goodbye Mr A”
Upbeat again. I think a pattern is beginning to emerge here. The song’s supposedly about the singer’s elementary school math teacher, and that actually makes a lot of the lines make more contextual/wordplay sense. The Hoosiers are actually one of my more-recently-found favorite bands. I don’t usually have favorite bands because my tastes are so eclectic that I often will only like one song that a group has done and feel indifferent about the rest of their work. Exceptions of the past have included Smash Mouth, Sugar Ray, and Josie & the Pussycats (from the movie). As you can tell, I like music that makes me bounce along to it.

5. The Hives “Die All Right
Another rare favorite band of mine, The Hives have crept into my consciousness from all directions; radio, music videos, Guitar Hero 3, Rock Band, Weird Al Yankovic, the fact that their songwriter is a possibly fictional person whose last name is pronounced the same way mine is…it all seemed a conspiracy to get me to listen to them. Well, I have fallen; it’s music like this that makes me want to have long hair to properly headbang with.

6. Presidents of the United States of America “Mixed Up SOB”
PUSA are goofy weirdos, kind of like The Hives, actually. Weird Al Yankovic directed this music video, something that should not surprise you once you’ve seen 30 seconds of it. I love the line “She’s stuck in gear. It’s just too bad it’s Reverse.” That’s wit, people. That’s what’s missing from T-Pain’s music that keeps me from getting down to apple-bottom jeans. Speaking of T-Pain though…

7. T-Pain “Church”
The only track I can stand off the soundtrack for Step Up 2: The Streets, and it’s just amazing. I want to record a music video of my own for it; that’s how fun it is to dance to.

And the tags:
1. Ted H
2. Jeff S
3. Joe S
4. Corey B
5. Jeremy G
6. Remi T
7. Katie S


Allo, Poppet!

April 11, 2008
1 Comment

No parody, no commentary…just a really cool song.

“Cops And Robbers”


Random Song Select

March 15, 2008
1 Comment

I have been challenged!

My friend Ted posted this in his blog (and then emailed me a personal link to it as a pointed challenge).

A friend of his found a Photoshop game to keep graphically-inclined people occupied for hours. The game is to create an album cover using random elements.
Find a random phrase (using the Wikipedia Random Article function); that’ll be the band name.
Find a random quote (using a random quote generator); the last four words of the last quote on the page will be the album title.
Find a random picture (using Flickr’s Interesting Photos); the third photo will be the background image for the album.

Now build the album cover from those three pieces, making use of all your Photoshop skills.

I’ve been making them all night while I wait for other people or whenever I get a second. Here’s what I came up with:

Timeline of Afghanistan is heavily influenced by Evanescence, Linkin Park and the entire Dollar Bin at your local Indie CD store. They feel that they’ve got a lot to be sorry about, sorry for, and sorry in so far as. Their new CD is a concept album based on what the drummer’s troubled youth would have been like if he had tried just one more time to run away from home. Rider Specifications: four (4) bottles of L’Oreal Pox Black nail polish in each band member’s dressing room, one (1) bowl of flowers and one (1) hairdryer plugged in next to said bowl.

The Lee County, Florida Sheriff’s Office has been talking about putting out an album since 1983, when they first realized 3/4 of their officers had, at one time or another, learned how to play an instrument. It all came together when they needed to raise money to get to a crime-stoppers convention in Illinois and needed to make some money to afford plane tickets. Their first effort (and they had so much fun, they swear it won’t be their last) includes their hit single, “Off The Cuffs,” a tribute to Jimmy Buffet’s music and Lee County’s most notorious baddies. Rider Specifications: For the show to go on, there must be at least 30 kids under the age of 12 and/or 40 senior citizens over 60 in the audience.

Fur Seal plays Death Metal with no concern for the fact that a good 95% of the Adult Swim show Metalocalypse has been directly lifted from footage from their episode of Behind The Music. Their lead singer’s name is Körgin Billy. That’s not a typo or a pseudonym; his parents gave him that name at birth…along with his abdominal scars. Rider Specifications: Someone for the entire band to simultaneously hate, otherwise, they’ll turn on each other pre-concert like a pack of rabid opossums.

Anneli Jäätteenmäki’s Cabinet is a Swedish supergroup, made up of former members of Ace of Base, Abba, The Cardigans, The Hives and The Hellacopters, from before any of the groups became famous. The lead singer has a crush on Ian Anderson, and she hides his name in every one of the band’s songs: anagrams, acrostics, or just using the string of letters ‘-ian’ at the ends of words like ‘Canadian’ and ‘Edwardian.’ In fact, she’s hidden his name twice on the cover of this newest release; Christ, she’s like a demented Highlights editor. Rider Specifications: An open cash bar. Yes, it actually uses that phrase. Most venues assume it means they want to mix their own drinks and leave the money on the counter. No one’s complained yet.

Command History likes to think of themselves as Weezer-meets-Barenaked-Ladies, but really they’re just a cheap Smash Mouth knockoff. You know, like Sugar Ray. Rider Specifications: Glasses tape. They only wear their glasses on stage; they’ve all had Lasik. Really, guys? Really?

Varandinha is former Bollywood actress Varandinha Rajadhyaksha branching out to achieve mainstream international diva status. The only way to describe her music is kitschily catchy. Imagine if Shakira had been an Indian princess, and you’re almost there. Rider Specifications: Two (2) bottles of suntan lotion, One (1) copy of the latest Danielle Steel paperback, four (4) steak kabobs… she should probably just kiss Richard Gere and get it over with.

Château LaFleur is an all-bisexual 7-member French punk band that prides itself on the sheer number of permutations for in-band relationships it has to offer the media. They also are steadfastly anti-SETI, a sentiment echoed on their new CD. They believe that if/when humans and extraterrestrials talk/meet, we should let it be on their terms and stop wasting all this money on clogging up intergalactic communication frequencies. Also, they hated Jody Foster in Contact. Rider Specifications: Wall-to-wall pillow mats, Jacques Brel over the intercom, and 2 hours of uninterrupted sex time before and after each performance.

Wow. My bands spread out quite a bit, didn’t they? That’s show biz for you.


1) Pata Pata Pon, 2) Pata Pata Pon, 3) Pata Pata Pon 4) Pata Pata Pon

March 5, 2008
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Every time my Patapons go into Fever mode, their call and response sounds like they’re saying “Let the bodies hit the floor.”


Trouble In Parodies

January 10, 2008
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I have created a sideblog. It’s called “Trouble In Parodies.”

http://troubleinparodies.blogspot.com/

It will be the new home of all parodies I write, since, man, I write a lot of them. I’ll still link to them from here, just in case you don’t have an RSS feed and don’t want to bookmark two bloglinks for one person.

So, it’s been another year since I reworked the dialog bubbles in these Japanese Marvel comics, so it’s time for the third annual installment of The All-New, All-Different X-Chibi!

…And, in order to avoid doubleposting on the RSS feeds that do exist, I’ll only include the links in posts on ‘In The Field…’ that stand on their own.

With that in mind:

I had a dream last night about combination locks. As I’ve been watching a lot of Alias lately, I was apparently contemplating ways to make uncheatable combo locks. My dream idea: Dance-Step Security Systems.

You’ve seen the dance-step diagrams (probably in classic Disney cartoons), but just in case:

Now, imagine that on the floor in front of a vault –EXCEPT– without the arrows and labels.

Each footstep would be a separate button that has to be hit in the correct order and with the correct rhythm. The Foxtrot, the Tango, the Bravo, the Charlie… any sort of interesting step. Maybe set it to your favorite song, the one you have memorized, so you know the beat you’re moving to. This system could even replace those two-keys-turning-simultaneously locks; just have the mechanism be a layout for a couple to waltz through together.

Some might say, why not just have the key be a section of customized DDR-style hopping on a standardized quartet of buttons? But I say 1) with only four buttons, it’s easier for a thief to hack the system and 2) four square arrowed buttons don’t look nearly as awesome as this:

And the obvious music choice for my someday vault:
The Safety Dance.


Morgan Freeman Moves From Electric Company To Sesame Street

January 8, 2008
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This. Is. Genius.

Se7en as Sesame Street Pinball

No…not that Se7en.


Hand The Beat Goes On

December 8, 2007
1 Comment

Daft Punk.
Daft Punk.
Daft Punk.
Daft Punk.

Funny.
Funny.
Funny.
Funny.

Wait For.
Wait For.
Wait For.
Wait For.

Fifty.
Fifty.
Fifty.
Seconds.

I’d say the parody only stays funny through 1:18, but the Rule of 57 apparently applies; I laughed every time he did it.


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