Simon FitzKit...In The Field!

27

February 8, 2008
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27th post in this new journal, on 2/7, my birthday.

Way to not even plan that, Simon.

Weird how my sidebar says this is post 25, but my dashboard says it’s 27. (shrug)

I’ve been sick for the past 3 days, with a fever of –at times– 104, and more congestion in my throat than on 1-85 every time I drive to Atlanta.

So it was not the 26th B-Day extravaganza I’d envisioned. In fact, at one point our neighborhood’s owner came to the door and suggested I move my car just in case the water main “exploded on it.” That’s not my idea of a party. Although, I suppose it would technically qualify as a surprise shower.

I’ve been dreaming about 2 things:
1) Alias. I’m halfway through the 3rd season, and it’s so addictive that if I stop in the middle of an episode to nap, my mind tries to create new plot lines to tie up all the loose ends.
2) Some kind of process that reduces things/people/experiences to cigarette-length Dr-Mario-style pills. And this is the disturbing one because it confuses me so profoundly –both in and out of dream state– that I still don’t understand the who or what or why of it all. All I know is that at one point, the only way I could solve the current problem was by letting my fingers act as a tiny person and climb a ladder built out of these condensed essence pills. I…just don’t know.

In any case, this past year has been really great. I’m doing what I love to do, I’m getting paid to do it, and people like me again. It’s nice having a lot of friends. I believe in psychological circles, this is known as the Norm Complex: the driving desire for people to call out your name in unison as you walk into the room. I’m on good terms with my sister, my parents are calming down quite a bit, the two-man improv group I’m half of got into DSIF, I’ve visited Atlanta several times and felt the love, comic books are pretty cool, and I own Rock Band, which makes me the most popular kid at all the parties.

…Here’s hoping I don’t die in my sleep tonight or something similarly O-Henry-ishly stupid.

Also, new entry up at Trouble in Parodies:
“The Fandom Menace”


Trouble In Parodies

January 10, 2008
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I have created a sideblog. It’s called “Trouble In Parodies.”

http://troubleinparodies.blogspot.com/

It will be the new home of all parodies I write, since, man, I write a lot of them. I’ll still link to them from here, just in case you don’t have an RSS feed and don’t want to bookmark two bloglinks for one person.

So, it’s been another year since I reworked the dialog bubbles in these Japanese Marvel comics, so it’s time for the third annual installment of The All-New, All-Different X-Chibi!

…And, in order to avoid doubleposting on the RSS feeds that do exist, I’ll only include the links in posts on ‘In The Field…’ that stand on their own.

With that in mind:

I had a dream last night about combination locks. As I’ve been watching a lot of Alias lately, I was apparently contemplating ways to make uncheatable combo locks. My dream idea: Dance-Step Security Systems.

You’ve seen the dance-step diagrams (probably in classic Disney cartoons), but just in case:

Now, imagine that on the floor in front of a vault –EXCEPT– without the arrows and labels.

Each footstep would be a separate button that has to be hit in the correct order and with the correct rhythm. The Foxtrot, the Tango, the Bravo, the Charlie… any sort of interesting step. Maybe set it to your favorite song, the one you have memorized, so you know the beat you’re moving to. This system could even replace those two-keys-turning-simultaneously locks; just have the mechanism be a layout for a couple to waltz through together.

Some might say, why not just have the key be a section of customized DDR-style hopping on a standardized quartet of buttons? But I say 1) with only four buttons, it’s easier for a thief to hack the system and 2) four square arrowed buttons don’t look nearly as awesome as this:

And the obvious music choice for my someday vault:
The Safety Dance.


The Spedometer At That Moment: 88

November 5, 2007
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I got stuck in a temporal loop this morning for a relative 3-4 hours.

I half woke up, growled at the time on my alarm clock: 930
and went back to sleep for a while.
I half woke up, growled at the time on my computer clock: 1027
and went back to sleep for a while.
I half woke up, growled at the time on my alarm clock: 930
and went back to sleep for a while, mildly confused.
I half woke up, blinked at the time on my alarm clock: 930
and, under the assumption that I was dreaming, went back to sleep for a while.
I woke up, stared at the time on my computer clock: 842
I turned to look at the time on my alarm clock: 930
I realized that my alarm clock was stuck on Set Alarm Mode, flicked it to Normal Mode: 945
I picked up my watch: 704
I stumbled downstairs, wrapped in my comforter, and looked at the microwave: 1105
and, slumping onto the couch and curling into a ball, decided to let the world iron itself out and went back to sleep for a while.
I woke up back in my bed. My computer clock: 945
My alarm clock: 930
It was once again in Set Alarm Mode, so I clicked it to Normal: 848
My watch: 359 …and a second later: 400

At this point, I took a long shower and rinsed the 4th dimensional buildup out of my hair.

Time started up again as I walked back into my room just as my alarm clock went off at: 930

My computer clock at that moment: 1027